Nostra-dumb-ass

A few months ago I predicted, as soon as the Republicans gained back some power, the oil industry would hike gas prices. The start of a new year requires new predictions. In the two years after the eight years of redistribution of wealth to the super wealthy, the economy started to come back on line. Eight years of economic rape and pillage cannot be corrected in a short time so naturally the voters, with the attention spans of gnats, elected to be represented again by the rape and pillagers.

These minions of the fat cats have decided the most important thing they can do for the country is defeat Obama in 2012. This means to undo any program Obama and the Democrats enacted. On to the predictions. Higher and higher gas prices to strangle any growth. Death by monetary starvation to the health care bill. The death of a thousand surgical cuts so to speak. Job stagnation blamed on the Democrats even though it is Republican businessmen shipping all the American jobs to China. Government shut downs due to the Tea Nut-baggers. Racism comes more to the fore front driven by certain radio and television network personalities. Stupid becomes the new smart. Lies become the new truths. Disrespect becomes the new courage. The everyman American gnats will cling to the rotten conservative fruit.

Merry Christmas

As the little Fat Cat Saboteur floated erratically to the ground, his beady eyes never spotted the unexpected welcome committee waiting there to great him. It seems a dumpster fed Polar Bear had watched his slow descent. This bear was used to greasy, fatty, spoiled, fast food that he scavenged from the dumpsters of the oil companies, that ravaged his land. He gobbled the slimy airborne morsel with one bite, and then flossed his teeth with it's Chinese parachute.

This meal proved to be the bears undoing. First he became bloated and then had a tremendous bout of flatulence. Soon after, stricken with terrible cramps, he died. The bears digestive system couldn't handle the foul twisted bite of bagger. His bowls closed up tighter than a billionaires wallet. Even though the bears heroic deed went un-noticed by mankind, his sacrifice permitted the continuation of giving freely from the heart without thought of personal gain. Christmas was saved by the blocked bowels of a dumpster dependent polar bear nicknamed Tiny Tim.

God Bless us all.

OPERATION: Santa to Satan

The scheme was classic Fat Cat diabolical. Into the midst of a perfectly content work force populace, you drop a piece of rotten fruit to infect the whole barrel. Let the seeds of distention mutate and distort the placid harmony. If the elves had health care tell them they would have more money in their paychecks if they went without it. Point out how Santa got all the glory while they remained anonymous. Maybe the elf working next to them didn't follow the same religion or sports team or worse yet, was a demon-o-crat. It would be easy. It worked so well with everyman. Sure in the war against everyman, the mind destroying media and stupid machine were powerful weapons but you had to start somewhere. The plot was formed, the operative was schooled and ready. It was now time for operation Santa to Satan. Geronimo.

(to be continued...)

Headquarters

"Tea Party headquarters, head bag speaking..Yes sir Mr. Averice, we can surely infiltrate Santa's workshop. We'll do it in the same way we infiltrated the American peoples psyche. We look so old and innocent, no one suspects we are taking over. What's that sir? Do we have someone small enough to pass as an elf.... Most of us in the party can either pass as elves or mummies. In fact, I have the perfect candidate in mind. He's standing, I think , right next to my desk. Yes sir, the goal will be to disrupt Santa's workshop and make it a capitalistic ideal. We have to sow the seeds of dissension amongst those happy go lucky pinko elves and make them see that profit is the only true motive. Yes sir, I'll get right on it. There are only so many shopping days left....

(to be continued)

Santa is a Socialist

One cold December day the Fat Cats gathered to discuss their favorite topic, money. They all realized the holiday season would line their pockets once again. But there was a cool December wind blowing amongst the greedy elite. The image of Santa Claus sat heavily on their minds. Santa Claus was truly the antithesis of the Fat Cat way of life. He gave to the poor without asking for renumeration. Why Santa was the ultimate socialist. His status as a jolly giver of gifts would have to be destroyed. He should be replaced by a more fitting symbol. A symbol that spoke clearly of capitalism. Several ideas were run up the flagpole to see who saluted. How about Rudolph the red-nosed retailer or Shelly the shopping elf. No one saluted. How about we just use our media to point out only the religious connotations? Naw, been done already. First, said the head cat, we need to get one of our spies into Santa's workshop and disrupt his operation. Call tea part headquarters.....(to be continued)....

Lemmings Over the Edge

I never realized before I started this blog, thepattern that is constantly repeated enabling Fat Catas to stay being Fat Cats. The Fat Cats of this country create a crisis. They create the crisis. Then they blame everybody but themselves for the problem. The crisis is always one that will make the Fat Cat richer. Whether it is the oil famine swine flue or housing scandals. They always profit. The oil companies now are totally destroying the environment with hydrolic fracture drilling. This is done under the mantra of oil independence from foreigners. The very foreigners they are partners with. The swine flue non-epidemic reaped millions for vaccine companies. And lets not even go where the bankers went. how is this possible? It is possible because the American public by and large is lazy and stupid. They love believing the outright lies and distortions told by the Fat Cat media. Wait till you see the next cliff the Fat Cat pied pipers are about to lead us over. You just know it will be a doozey.

Profits Prophet

As a Fat Cat, my fellow feline plunderers, my greatest concern is the law of diminishing returns. At some point in the near future we will have pillaged everything possible. We've ruined the land with our hydrolic fracture drilling. We've befouled the air with soot and carcinogens. The food supply is contaminated by de-regulation. War has been a gold mine for us but everyman grows weary of it. Heaven knows none of us chicken hawk Fat Cats would ever let our kids on enlist. The sea is filled with oil sludge. Fat Cats everywhere have bought up water rights. Turnpikes and utilities are now in our hands. We've sent every job possible to China, India, and even Vietnam. Soon everyman won't have anymore money we can take from him. IF everyman can't afford the fast food that he makes, what then? Pitting them against one another has gotten us this far, but what next? Maybe we should be looking at a way to feed the homeless to the hungry. I'm sure we can turn a profit with that.

Inception Conception

Once upon a time, long ago, there was a small group of discontented felines. These cats lived in grand houses in the nicest part of town. They had plenty to eat and drink. They were warm in winter and cool in summer. Something was wrong though. Even having the finest life had to offer wasn't enough. They wanted more. But more what? They met at each others houses once a week to discuss the problem. They looked hard at the world around them. Why everyman seemed to be content and happy. Everyman had a secure job, healthcare, his utilities and gasoline were affordable and he had a pension when he retired. This would not do. The Fat Cats were envious. They would have to ruin everything so only they could enjoy life. Now being cats they knew that toying with your prey before killing it was the most fun. So they hatched a plan based on their own principals. They would get everyman to turn on himself. Even in the purest everyman there are hidden dark spots. Little taints on his soul. It was simple really.

Greed was one of these taints. Everyman liked money just like the Fat Cats. Just float a rumor that his money is to be re-distributed to less fortunate every men. This would anger most everyman. Not all though, so how about prejudice against the everyman who was in someway not like you. The cats had to be careful with this ploy and would have to disguise the tactic with code words and phrases. The cats knew they would have to convince everyman that only the cats new how to rule properly. Only the cats new how to create jobs. Jobs they would then dismantle and send overseas. How do you get these messages out? The cats knew they would have to create a huge stupid machine and use it to get everyman to vote against his own self interests. They hit upon something that had been in place for a long time. Radio and television the grand reducers of mental prowess. People didn't read anymore they just absorbed. Perfect! Repeat lies enough times and suddenly everyman is consuming his brothers.