Happy Thanks-taking

As Fat Cats sit down to Thanksgiving, the head feline rises to give the invocation:

"Let us bow our heads and give thanks. Thank you for our television and radio stations that allow us to fool everyman into voting against his own self interests. Thank you for our paid for scientists who refute global warming. Thank you hydrolic fracture drilling that allows us to reap more oil profits while ruining the environment. Thank you for reality television that mesmerizes everyman into a coma like state. Thank you for letting us privatize everything. Thank you for letting us make taxes the dirty word it has now become. Thank you for letting everyman see that those in need, who are less fortunate than him, are not worthy of help. Finally, thank you for the power of greed because it really, for a lack of a better term, is great."

Orange you Glad

People of earth we are the mighty Venusians. We ask your help in re-capturing one of our most dangerous escaped mental patients. We believe he has managed to infiltrate himself into one of your branches of government. We will project an image of him through your primitive broadcast medium you call television. He should be easy to recognize. He is orange in color. The expression on his face is one that earthlings would say comes from landing on a stick. His expression never changes. The expression is genetic. He inherited it from his ancestor Anus Pucker. His prone to fits of self righteous indignation over any trivial matter. He cries a great deal. Don't be fooled by this display. On Venus, he cries right before he pounces on and devours those less fortunate then himself. Do not try to apprehend him. If he is spotted he will seek out those groups who agree with him and hide by trying to blend in.

The Fat Thin Career

Watching television one has to wonder how many washed up so-called celebrities have made a career out of pigging out and then getting thin. These Fat Cats "literally" had too much money to begin with so as their stars faded they fried and breaded their sorrow and consumed it. Their minimal talent would not bring them fleeting fame again so the rest of us have to endure endless before and after photo's of them.

This is not just Fat Cat women, the washed up male athlete is also proud of his transformation. He struts his stuff like some French peacock from King Louie's court. This is all part of the lucrative binge and purge society the Fat Cat has created. If Fat Cats could figure out a way to make money on taking a dumpy, they would. Oh yea, they did. I forgot about all the yogurt and constipation commercials.

The Age of the Gas Bag

The land was relatively quiet. The sun was high in the light blue sky. Birds flew lazily in the warm air. Suddenly there came a hideous belching. The birds landed and huddled nervously in trees. The sun still proud in the sky didn't seem quite as bright. The belching spewed forth again and again. It seemed to be joined by other foul guttural eruptions. It was as if prehistoric beasts of the long dead past were filling the very air itself. Over the green but now darkening horizon came huge bloated shapes. They were floating in the gentle air, filling it with terrible sound and fury. As their shadows blotted out the sun, the sheep quivered nervously in the pasture. The farmers and the city folk came out and were mesmerized by the noises that curiously appealed to their inner-most darkside. Men and women who once stood for something were cowed into silence. Large groups of normally sane people were wearing funny hats with tea bags hanging from them. Fearsome overweight felines traveled the land. A new age had begun.

Global Warning

What a shell game we are playing with this planet. First we deny the exsistence of global warming. Then we pay some spurious scientists to support our claim. Finding out that most of the world doesn't believe us, we change the argument to job loss. You know the jobs we sent to China, Mexico, and my favorite Vietnam. When the American everyman has his doubts we tell them that even if we cut back on emissions, China, Mexico, and Vietnam won't. After all they are the major polluters, not us. We create the problem and blame someone else. This is just like the banking crisis, the oil spills, and the food poisoning outbreaks. We cause the problems through de-regulation, step back from power, let them try to clean up our mess, claim they are at fault and it costs too much, and then our mindless followers re-elect us. What a great country. Thank god for short attention spans and memory loss.

Now of course reality does come home to roost. We know we don't have much time left to exploit this planet. Soon it will be uninhabitable. Uninhabitable for everyman, not Fat Cats. Look at that superb shelter that one discount store magnates family built. It cost billions. Enough to provide health care for all their workers. This is the model we need to follow. Only the greedy survive.

Constriction Insurance

By watching TV what would you say is the most lucrative industry in America today?

Judge this strictly by watching commercials.

Isn't it obvious that the insurance industry controls the majority of wealth in this country? Not just health insurance, because they've been kinda hiding and trying not to be seen until their buddies regained power. They make so much money that they spend most of it trying to get you to switch from the insurance company you have to them. A lot of insurance is even mandated by state governments. Sweet deal. Absolutely force people to buy your product. Free market, yeah right.

Now back to health insurance. The stealth insurance of late. The people in power now are working to slowly strangle any health care reform. Just like a boa-constrictor. First the snake grabs the prey. Then it crushes the life out of it. Finally it swallows it whole. Insurance companies like cute animals in their ads. Maybe it's time for the boa to rear its head.

Balls

The time has come. This has to be the age of a new everyman. Like the Orc's in the Tolkien trilogy, the other side has become ever more diabolical. They have the money, the media, and the Neanderthals. Everyman has to find leaders like Harry Truman who never minced words. If a politician is afraid to be bloodied for his ideals then he needs to be cast aside. You passed health care reform. Shout it from the rooftops. You stimulated a dying economy. Let people know this was the right thing to do. Don't try to rationalize your points of view with political trolls. If someone disagrees violently with you, don't shrink like a violet behind conciliatory language. Swear, get in his or her face and let them know you don't represent Fat Cats. Use your media money wisely. Show the other side for what they are using their own actions. I still can't believe, with footage of Tea Party people spitting on congressmen and ridiculing the disabled, this wasn't used with devastating effect in a commercial saying is this the ideals you want in politics. Grow a set or hide under a rock.

Fortunes Told

The past, because everyman has refused to pay attention to it, is about to repeat itself. So let me gaze into my Chinese crystal ball and predict the short term future. This being the only future everyman is capable of noticing. We have once again, through obfuscation, taken control of one of the houses of power. What is our goal for the next two years? Gridlock lies and mis-direction. We will block government funding, say that it is the will of the American people, and then blame the other side of the aisle for it. As the insurance companies rejoice we will slowly strip the health care reform bill of any meaningful reform. Public education will gradually die of funding malnutrition. We will swell the ranks of our radical old fogey tea party by appealing to the worst in Americans. Our television and radio ministers of propaganda will pave the way for our total takeover in two years.

What has made all this possible? The very lack of will to fight back by our opponents. Instead of screaming back in our faces, that yes I voted for health care reform and I'm proud of it, they let us spit on them and throw dollar bills at the disabled. Americans like fighters not wimps who fall back on intelligent arguments and logic.

The consensus is that the Neanderthal died out and Cro-Magnum or modern man took over. To refute that theory, all one has to do is attend a Tea Party Rally.

VICTORY

It is over.

We the Fat Cat ruling class have won.

In two years we will complete the stupid-a-fication of the rest of the American everyman and take total control.

We will charge whatever we want for whatever we want because we will own everything. Health insurance, medical care, gasoline, electricity, food, water, everything will be ours to make a profit on. Greed for lack of a better term is fabulous. I only hope we can find a way to charge for the very air that everyman breathes.

Get ready America, the Fat Cats are back with a vengeance.

Sound Off!

The worst quality of a lot of Americans is that they have the attention span of gnats. They are into instant gratification and can't remember what they had for lunch let alone what happened eight years ago. Now they have their own television and radio stations that spew out the notion that it's okay to hate anyone who doesn't agree with you. They love to equate opposing viewpoints with a dictator's policies. Really? It would seem to be the other way around. These amnesiac Americans are about to get the government they deserve. Too bad the rest of us are going to get it also.

Published in the Record Courier October 25, 2010

Fries with that?

You've just worked a crazy week standing on your feet feeding the public. You've had to put up with impatient customers and unsympathetic management. You get your only saving grace, for all the madness you had to endure; your pay envelope. You open it up and there with your pay is a little flyer telling you to vote a certain way or your economic future may be threatened. This seems to harken back to the days of the unchecked robber barons but it just happened at a national food franchise in Canton Ohio. This Fat Cat mentality, that because they have all the money, is really at the core of all the problems America has today. Greed drives the Fat Cats. The lure of what greed offers drive the Fat Cat wanna bee sheep.

The Fat Cats Prayer

My fellow brethren Fat Cats, Let us bow our heads and pray...

Our money who are in off shore tax shelters hallowed be thy interest. Thy Kingdom come, our will be done, on earth and any other place we can think of. Give us this day more than anyone else and forgive us for not trespassing on the rights of everyman, man whose very existence is a trespass against us, and lead us to more acquisitions of material goods.

Can I get an Amen.